Real Life Richard: Still Sweatin’ to the Oldies
My college friends and I rummaged through tubs of spandex and neon scrunchies and chose our favorites, cut the necks of a few tees, and finagled our hair into the infamous side pony; we even managed to convince a friend to sport a metallic wind suit. As “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” played repeatedly on an iPod, we adjusted our bright tube socks to the perfect height and teleported ourselves back to the ’80s.
We bopped down from the Ithaca College dorms at the nearby gymnasium. It was a Saturday morning in October 2004 and here we were, children of the ’80s, gearing up to meet THE fitness superstar of our formative years: Richard Simmons.
To six healthy, fit, and gym-frequenting undergrads, Richard Simmons’ visit was more of a novelty, something for which I’m surprised we didn’t pregame. None of us could remember a release date for even one his VHS workout videos or recall actually taking him seriously. After all, while Richard Simmons was envisioning Disco Sweat, I was in diapers. And my only real brush with the workout tapes of the ’80s was watching my mom exercise to a Jane Fonda post-baby workout.
We arrive at the gym — almost an hour early — and to our surprise, the front row was packed with middle-aged women who’d been sweating with Richard and his tight little ass long before we were born. They had traveled from near and far and still struggled with their weight. Richard was the one who taught them how to exercise and how to say “no” to those extra cookies.
He entered from the back of the room, galloping through the crowd, with his motivational mic in hand. A drip of his sweat fell on my forehead as he brushed past my shoulder — to stay in character, I shrieked like teenage girl. But, then, as I looked around, I noticed tears welling up in half of these women’s eyes, and realized that having the chance to work out with Richard Simmons was a much bigger deal than I had ever thought. Perhaps there was more Richard Simmons than just tight tanks and a freaky ‘fro.
As a girl who grew up playing on coed little league teams and kickball with the neighborhood boys, and later a college athlete, I always thought aerobics wasn’t real exercise, but on this day, I changed my mind.
For that following hour, did I ever sweat to those oldies. He told inspirational stories and was beyond upbeat. He even chose audience members to join him on stage. “He picked me! He picked me!” I yelled as I sprinted up the stage steps — but this time, I — not my character — was excited. I ended up smack behind him and watched him shake his teeny tiny booty the entire time.
It may have been two decades after his time, but I left my workout with Richard Simmons that day motivated and with a newfound respect for aerobics.
Oh, and with one rad tank top, which proudly boasted: “I worked out with Richard Simmons.”
Copyright 2009, Shoestring LLC.